how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
