the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
