I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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