Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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