Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
