when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
