We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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