Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
