Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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