shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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