Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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