Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
