Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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