drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
