My first STD was from a foam party
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
