We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
