The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
