Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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