Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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