Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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