The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
