i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
