Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
