yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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