So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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