Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
