Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Jerry, you need to find god
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
