I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
