you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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