nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Say something about gay babies.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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