The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
