I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
