Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I want a musical about memes.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
