you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
