oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
