We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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