All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
