That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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