U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
