so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
