the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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