Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
