I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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