Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
