I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
