Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is wine microwaveable?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
