hotel room ftw
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
