I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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