Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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