so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
