Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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