Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize