She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
