This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
