I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Found the puke drawer
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize