honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
