This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
